| Writer's Block: No Laughing Matter |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|12:15 pm] |
like the old saying "if you can imagine it, there's porn of it", i believe that if you can take it seriously, you can joke about it.
of course, this doesn't mean i can't get serious about certain things. i can get serious about a lot of things, but i can joke about them too. it's just a matter of placing and context. |
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| Writer's Block: Meaningful Words |
[Mar. 16th, 2008|09:36 am] |
[sigh] okay, i know i promised some things about real updates in my last entry, but i saw this question and just thought "damn you writer's block, you absolute vile bastard! another cracking question for me to answer!" i have other bloody things to do on livejournal as well - like respond to comments and whatnot. but no. fucking writer's block - the bane and love of my existence.
anyway, it just so happened that i was looking through some old livejournal entries (nostalgia-centric) and came upon the following. this has got to be the actual best thing i've ever written in my entire life:
"Cunts seem to be shocked when I say that, because she helped cunts and now she's a dead cunt."
i wrote that about princess diana [:
it's my favourite quote because (1) i write it [edit: LOL "i write it" - what an illiterate fanny i am. and i call myself "verbose" later on in the text. i clearly meant "i wrote it". lol], (2) it's fucking hilarious and (3) it fully sums up my views on ol' princess di.
i think i'm thoroughly abusive of the "writer's block" function of this website. it's pretty clear that i have no writer's block at all, since i'm quite witty and verbose in my entries.
itt: discuss ways i can stop writing writer's blocks. |
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| Writer's Block: Eliot Spitzer's Resignation |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|02:28 am] |
ugh...why the fuck else is someone a politician? to change the country/world through policy and social reforms? NO. they're all just looking for power and a blow job.
it's like why people become rock stars. they're not in it for "the music". they do it for the mountains of skag, the rolls-royce's they can drive into hotel pools, the queues of groupies, and - okay, this is kinda music related - to get their wedding tackle out in front of an audience of minors.
so, no, he shouldn't resign. let him get involved with all the prostitution rings he wants to. if he's really doing wrong, then he'll contract AIDS - not HIV but full-blown AIDS - and die. no biggie.
...who is this spitzer cunt anyway?
and to my regular LJ readers: i promise an actual update will come relatively soon. like i do actuaLOL updates anymore... |
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| Writer's Block: That's the Worst |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|12:28 pm] |
the worst thing that could happen to me today is losing my internet access at work. normally in work, i'm on the internet all the time, but if there's a lull on the internet (i.e. a messageboard is going slow, i've run out of stuff to look up, etc.), i'll do some work. for most of my colleagues, it's the other way 'round.
i guess it could potentially benefit me by making me do some work and stop me being behind in all the stuff i need to catch up on.
i hate offices. i wish i was a carpenter or an upholsterer. if i can't find a job in a library by may/june, i'll apply to work in waterstone's. |
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| happy anniversary jo! |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|01:00 pm] |
this day, last year, i made livejournal friends with jo. now, a year later, i feel like i've gained something of an awesome, punk rock big sister. i'm not one for soppy stuff, but it's been a real gift getting to know her. anyway, i just wanted to take the chance to acknowledge this occasion and raise a glass of (non-alcoholic - keep it xstraightxedgex!) champagne for a wee toast.
it's been good knowing you, jo! here's to many more years of punx companionship
:D |
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| Writer's Block: Take A Load Off |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|01:48 am] |
have a w[rest of post censored for public decency/suppression of groans at a suitably predictable answer].
p.s.: hopefully my next post won't be a writer's block. |
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| jamie oliver |
[Jan. 17th, 2008|11:27 pm] |
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your fowl dinners show is shit. it's doing the wrong thing, you fanny! it doesn't make me think about buying different kinds of chickens and eggs. it makes me consider becoming a fucking vegan (actually a pescetarian - wiki' it). those poor little chicks! :[ why did you have to kill them, you big stupid cunt? and why do you refer to every male as your "mate"? you're just an irritating human being! i hate you i hate you i hate you I! HATE! YOU! why not crawl into that chick gas chamber and just fucking DIE!? |
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| Writer's Block: Do You Believe? |
[Dec. 21st, 2007|03:22 am] |
I guess I never really did believe in Santa, to be honest. Probably because I would usually be awoken in the middle of the night by the dulcet tones of my father's voice, crying out "Oh, ya bastard!" at some stubborn present reluctant to come out of the attic.
But also because I didn't find Santa Claus very appealing. If I had any awareness of what a pervert was when I was a pre-adolescent, then I probably would've called him a pervert.
Breakin' into folks' hooses to gie oot presents - who does that?
Also, my mum told me that if you tried to pretend to sleep when Santa came to the house, he would test you by tickling your feet to see if you laughed. How ghastly is that? He was a child-tickling psychopath of a pervert. If you were only kidding on that you were sleeping he probably would've shoved you in his big sack and taken you to the North Pole to toil in his "elfin" (aka child labour) workshop. That made me think "Oh aye? Well, when he tickles my feet I'm gonna boot the bastard in the face".
Plus, I was always the kid who questioned how Santa could deliver to every child in the world in a couple of hours, and be sitting in every shopping centre in the world every day, having kids sitting on his lap and telling him what they want. I refused to take part in that practice - child exploitation.
t. |
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| Writer's Block: Current Favorites |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|06:00 pm] |
Finally, an awesome Writer's Block to write! Although, by the time I finish writing this entry, my favourites will have changed. Also, a lot of these things aren't exactly new, or anything, just what I current list as my favourites. Expect more than one choice for each of these.
My current favourite book is a coin toss between Franny & Zooey and Everything Is Illuminated. Everything Is Illuminated is the most recent new book I've read, so it has all that freshness that comes with having just read a book for the first time. You know, when you shut the last page and think "Wow! That was the best book ever!"? I'm currently feeling that with Everything Is Illuminated and I think it's getting serious. Franny & Zooey I've read before, but I'm reading it again. Every time I read something by J. D. Salinger, I'm just amazed at how effortless he makes writing seem, yet so complex. Sometimes I re-read a couple of lines, just to savour the flow or get a grip on some of the language. Especially with Zooey - I find that story can be pretty heavy and wordy with the language, so I like to re-read it just so I know exactly what the hell I'm reading. I find it easy to get lost in a book, especially since my mind begins to illustrate the scenario and I can get caught up in the detail, so have to go back to the start of the sentence or paragraph to remind myself what I'm doing. Does anyone else do that?
My favourite film just now is one from 1986, or something like that, called The Boy Who Could Fly. It's about a girl who moves to a new town with her mum and brother after her dad committed suicide, and how she becomes friends with a mute autistic boy in her class and tries to help him adjust. The boy's parents both died in a plane crash when he was a baby and he keeps climbing onto the edge of his roof and spreads out his arms, like an aeroplane. Everyone thinks that he's trying to be the plane that his parents were in when it crashed, so then he'd be able to save them, but when the girl falls off a bridge and knocks her self out in the process, she's convinced the boy can fly and caught her as she was falling. Anyway, Social Services come by the boy's house and find his uncle drunk (as he usually is), so they take the kid away to a psychiatric home. It's so sad when the girl's family go to see him, but are told that only family members are allowed, but he hears them in the car park when they leave, so tries to shout on the girl; but he can't since he's mute, so starts crying and tries jumping out the window to fly after her, but the orderly's restrain him and stuff. Damn, it's heartbreaking. He escapes, though, and flies back home to be with the girl, but the Social Services and police follow him, so they go on this big chase through the town, before the boy and girl jump off the roof of the school and it turns out he can't actually fly and they both plummet to their death... Not really. He can fly and they fly all through the town with the kids at school running behind them and cheering, but then the boy flies off, because he knows everyone will plague him for the rest of his life and want to know how he flies. The film is way better than that lame description though - you should definitely see it, if you haven't seen it before. I wish I was autistic so I could fly...
So, yeah... What else is there? Oh yeah, favourite CD. Um... "Let's Stay Friends" by Les Savy Fav, because it's really the most recent one I've bought that I've given a lot of attention to.
Video games? I don't really play all that many video games. I think the last ones I bought were "Scarface" and "Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix". Maybe suggest me some cool games to play? |
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| The cool list |
[Nov. 9th, 2007|12:41 pm] |
NME is lame and picks the wrong people/put's people in the wrong places on their annual "Cool List" (although, it does make for some LOLsome reading).
Their top 3 this year is:
3. Lovefox from CSS
2. The fat one from Klaxons
1. Frank from Gallows
Who is in the Top 3 on your "Cool List"? (Even though the whole concept of a "Cool List" and being on a "Cool List" makes you less "cool")
Mine is:
3. Emily Haines
2. Tim Harrington
1. Nick Cave
You can do a Top 50 if you want. |
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| Squeeze: |
[Oct. 29th, 2007|09:50 pm] |
I bought their Greatest Hits for a fiver today. Bloody hell! They're amazing! Why have I missed them for so long?
Although, I dunno if they're a guilty pleasure or not...
I'm saying "no". |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|01:13 pm] |
i got my hair cut yesterday. it was cut by emma, who always cuts my hair really well, like exactly as i want it. however, the one she gave me last night was srsly whack. i wanted a trim (i.e. i wanted all the puffy weight taken off and all the hair creeping down the back of my neck shortened, so my hair still had some length, but wasn't a big fat mess). i didn't get that. she totally cut the sides in way too short and left this scraggy, like mini-mullet at the back (ok, it didn't really look like a mullet, but i had this awful vision that i looked like a hick at the back). last night, i was in front of the mirror, contemplating suicide cutting it off with a pair of scissors. instead i went to stevie austin and asked for his help. he cleaned it up and gave me a good old fashioned no nonsense do. i'm well happy with it now. thanks stevie ('cause i know you read this). |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2007|06:22 pm] |
even though i really, really, really like albums a lot, i often think that i'm more of a songs person - and, of course, you wouldn't know some songs if it wasn't for the album. does this make me an albums man, after all? anyway, i was going to do these all at once, but now i've decided to do it as a series, that way i can write loads about each song and have stuff to write over the week. the first is actually my favourite song of all time, ever!
"academy fight song" by mission of burma.
when i was starting to think about reading "our band could be your life" (or began trying to find it), i read about each of the 13 bands in the book. i had seen stuff about mission of burma a lot, but had never actually listened to them. so i did a quick search on them and the first song i listened to was "academy fight song". as soon as it started i thought, my god, this is my favourite song of all time. and it was. i listened to it all the time, non-stop for days. everything about it was what i looked for in a song and still continue to. whenever i'm angry, or happy, or sad, or jubilant, i can still enjoy "academy fight song". especially when i'm angry. it's such a powerful song it seems to take me over. it's a total fist shake of a song. when i finally did find "our band..." and got to the chapter about m.o.b., the writer - michael azerrad - wrote that it was "the kind of song you play 3 times a day, every month, for the rest of yr life" (or something like that). i totally, whole-heartedly agree with it. whenever i read that comment, it comes across as a sort-of nonchalant side remark, as if it is part of everyday routine, and it is. i can tell that azerrad was deeply affected by this song. my life depends on this song.
what's some of yr favourite songs of all time? |
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| Writer's Block: Back to School |
[Sep. 7th, 2007|12:46 pm] |
that's easy: bob kay!
for those of you who didn't go to my school, bob kay was the head of mathematics and an all-round rad teacher. my worst subject at school was maths (until 6th year, when history totally overtook it), but bob kay had total faith in me that one day i'll become a magnificent maths brain.
sadly, i didn't find my love for maths until way after i left school and i really wish everything had clicked with me numerically when i was still there. he was the only teacher at the school who was actually srsly passionate about his job. he used to get completely over-enthusiastic about sums and pretty much thrived on them. sometimes, if i asked him for help with a problem, he'd do the whole problem, because he had got too excited to stop.
he was the teacher who came to rome with us, when a group went in 6th year. even out of his natural teaching habitat, he was still passionate about numbers, which i found extremely admirable. plus he wore a hawaiian shirt that made me lol my head off.
he was also the most quotable man ever. james used to have a "bob kay quote of the day" feature on his livejournal, which was a highlight, but has since stopped because high school is well finished for him. i think james should go through his old entries and do a "bob kay quote of the day" greatest hits. my favourite bob kay quote of the day was (something along the lines of):
"you should do maths all the time. not just school: do them at home, on the bus... whenever i'm sitting on the bus, and i'm a bit bored with all the commuting, i pull out some quadratic equations. the time flies by!"
see how awesome he was!?
either him or mrs. murray, my primary 7 teacher who talks to me still, and who i used to be in love with. |
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| OMG |
[Sep. 2nd, 2007|01:14 pm] |
Absolute genius!
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